Today is a tough day to greet with a smile. Today is one of those "firsts" that I have to get through alone, today is his birthday. Today he would have turned fifty. Today would have been one of those big milestone days. We never made much fuss over birthdays, usually we'd just go out to dinner, but I think this year I'd have tried to do something special. And there would have been teasing, lots of teasing, I'd been getting a head start on that shortly after his last birthday. "I can't believe you'll be fifty! You're sooo old!" I told him. Of course he'd have given it all back to me when my time came, but I'd have had a lot of fun out of it before that happened. :)
I considered writing about what turning fifty was going to mean to us, what we'd hoped to do, what was left undone, but instead I just sat down this morning and worked on a digital painting. I'm still learning my way around the program, but I think he'd like it. He'd like that I'm trying.
Happy birthday, Jeff. I love you more than I could ever express. I miss you every day.
cross posted from Kything NaturesZen
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