...will be our anniversary in a couple weeks.
I've tried to not think about that. This would have been our eighth anniversary. Only our eighth, still so new.
I've spent the past couple of weeks trying to do various exercises in gratitude, to remind myself of all of the good things that are still in my life. Some days it's easy, others it's hard. As I try to think of good things I still hear that voice that reminds me he's gone.
We should have had an eighth anniversary. And a ninth. And a tenth. We had plans for our tenth, we were going to take a nice vacation. We were thinking about renewing our vows. We were definitely going to be fit and healthy. So many plans.
I'm not through the first year yet, but I've gone through my birthday, his birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas... I think I've covered the major milestone events. With the exception of the first time I mark off the anniversary of his death, this will be the last big day I'll have to face for the first time by myself.
It won't be easy, in fact out of every day I've looked at I think this is going to be the hardest to deal with. This will be the day that we officially joined our lives together. This will be the day that I knew, without doubt, that I would never be alone again.
It's gonna be tough.
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