Growth

It all started nine years ago. Well, technically nine years and a couple of weeks, but it was nine years ago today was our first date, the first time we’d met in person. Nine years ago at this moment we were walking around a park, and I was probably telling him I'd better get home because I had to take my dog out for her walk. Nine years ago today was a lovely, warm Sunday.

We'd decided to meet at a big bookstore, because it was a public space and because I love bookstores so it seemed natural to me. We sat in the cafe drinking iced coffee and talking for at least three hours, I think, then we wandered around in the bookstore, sharing things we both liked. After that it was off for burritos, then to a park to walk around for another hour or so. We stopped to pick up acorns, and I put a few in my pocket. At the time I had no idea what our date would lead to, but I kept the acorns anyway.

I wanted to draw an analogy between the acorns and what I'm going through as I work my way through the year. I wanted to say that although I still feel small and unformed, that the potential for great things is within me, that like a little acorn I can grow into a strong oak and carry on. I wanted to say these things because they sound positive and optimistic and I like to give myself affirmations. But today I feel more like these particular acorns... plucked out of nature, my potential locked inside forever, now stuck in a glass jar looking out at the world and wondering how this all happened.

That's okay. I don't need to have a personal growth moment every day. Some days I can just be.

For a few years we would recreate our first date, until the bookstore remodeled and did away with the cafe, and the restaurant moved. Today I'll just sit and talk to Jeff, and reminisce about the day, and smile as I remember every moment.

I'll work on growing again tomorrow.

cross posted from Kything NaturesZen